for my child

Dear Child,

Watching you now is so hard.

This idea of love you have – this all words and no action, all talk and no substance, abandon everyone for HIM, Romeo and Juliet (everyone died and the play sucked, by the way) notion you have – it’s really terrible to be a spectator for.

Because, as we’ve already seen, you are old enough now that these sort of things have consequences. And this is a mess. And I hate to see you settle for so much less than what should be.

In my heart, I know you know better. You see it in our home every day. You have for years.

Real love willingly somehow goes from a quiet single life to being married with three teenagers.

Real love stays even through absolute nightmare parenting situations – hospitalizations, medical bills, outbursts, police, numerous incidents – and still is a rock.

Real love has held my hand through my sickest days, sending me back to bed, insisting I stop working when I couldn’t any longer, comforting me when I had to shave my head.

Real love reminds me patiently ten times a day to get up slowly with both feet because I am forever trying to stand up like I’m still healthy. And somehow never complains.

Real love sits around in PJ’s, eating Smartfood at 2AM, laughing at old movies, because the house is finally quiet.

Real love waits to hear the garage door go up in the evening after all these years.

Real love puts up with my recent onset snoring – and that of my little bed-hogging weenie dog too.

Real love still picks up each others things at the store – even if we are mad about something.

Real love doesn’t stay mad for too long.

Real love chooses each other first, as you see us together most all of the time we are both home.

More than anything, though, real love is a commitment to keep chosing each other and sticking together and toughing it out no matter what. And, yes, it’s wonderful memories and lots of joy and shared couple things and truly having your very best friend too – but those only really come in the right context.

And, when you find it, it is the best thing in the world.

But, when it isn’t the right context and it isn’t that commitment, it’s just words. And it isn’t love. It’s destructive. It’s damaging. And nothing good at all can come from all these plans that are being hatched.

So, I hope and pray that you’ll listen and wait for more.


Your Mom


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