Hi, friends. After being away for over two months – the longest period, by far, that I have ever gone without writing here in the ten years since we started – I am so happy to be returning and slowly getting my strength again.

Starting back in the Spring, there are several posts I shared where I was experiencing health issues, frequently ending up in the emergency room or inpatient hospital.

Well, after my last post, my body turned for the worse quickly.

While I have certainly been terribly sick with infections and surgeries and even sepsis in the past, this gastroparesis illness weakened me to the point that I literally could not leave my room. It was worsening almost daily it seemed.

I was out of breath after showering and reached a point – long after I had stopped eating food – where the *sight* of food, just images, would make me sick.

We were constantly in and out of emergency, once we were even there twice in the same day. Each time, I would be treated for the nausea and vomiting, as well as my continually low potassium and magnesium. I would go home, still weak and dizzy, but not actively vomiting long enough to get out the door.

And the cycle would continue.

(I lost over 40 pounds in about 4 months when all was said and done.)

When this all finally came to a head, I was admitted, profoundly ill, vomiting constantly and unable to hold anything down. My electrolytes were terribly out of sorts and my body pain had exploded as I had been vomiting all of my medications – including my steroids – for days.

Even inpatient, we struggled mightly initially for care, as some physicians are not familiar with my rare diagnosis and there were just several things going on all at once there.

When we could not seem to get help and I could not see an end in sight, I had a true cannot-breathe-what-is-happening panic attack like I’ve never experienced before. I have anxiety, not panic attacks (until now I guess), and I don’t know what I would have done without Courtney there to take care of me. I was terrified.

Finally, we transferred to a different team – and the physician who took over my care was familiar with gastroparesis caused by CRPS and had recently treated another patient who had the same condition. When he told me that, I could have fallen off the bed. I was so blown away.

To go from struggling to find a doctor that knows my condition at all to finding him and his group? This was absolutely a God thing.

At that point, I was started on a liquid diet as well as a different medication for gastroparesis. That evening, I actually kept down an Ensure for a few hours – which seemed huge progress.

At the same time, my heart rate was acting odd and my chest was tight. When my labs came back early the next morning, my electrolytes were dangerously a mess – and suddenly there was an explanation for these new symptoms.

As I had been literally starving for so long, even the slightest amount of food – the Ensure – sent my body into full refeeding syndrome, so dangerous.

My precious nurse Theresa – who also was truly a gift from God as I don’t know what we would have done without her help – spent her entire shift working seven bags of electrolytes in staggered doses through me. It was a long and scary day.

Over the next couple of days, I experienced fluctuations in my electrolytes that gave me some really unpleasant episodes of weakness and just crashing out to use the medical term. 😉

However, the new gastroparesis medication actually started to work – as in, no vomiting, work (which felt like a miracle after the months we’ve been through) – and I was still so weak but feeling much more like myself.

I had a normal MRI of my head – so we know these awful migraines I’ve been experiencing are just caused by everything my body has been going through and not something additional, thankfully.

Finally, after being loaded up with another massive round of electrolytes, I got to come home to my people and puppies, to rest and follow up with many outpatient appointments.

I am profoundly grateful to share that – after so many months of decline and weakness – I have been able to eat and rest and work towards getting my strength back. I am incredibly weak after these months in bed without proper nutrition – but we are moving in the right direction. On Friday, my electrolyte panel was normal – amazing! – and only my protein still is low from the long-term deficiency.

Finally, I am so incredibly thankful for my better half. I can’t begin to share all he did to get us through the hospital, staying with me, taking his poor back out by sleeping in hospital chairs, running back and forth to work and our house to care for our puppies. I usually am tough – but this hospitalization was *not* a “stand alone and be strong” type stay, not even for this old nurse. I was terribly sick and oh-so-scared. I am so blessed to have Courtney and our Buggle Boo too. ❤

My bestie, Ginny, also sent the best, most thoughtful, adorable gift for my broken stomach – she sent me a new one. 🙂

I am so happy to be back here. In the coming weeks, my new book will be arriving – and I can’t wait to share more about it. I definitely feel close to the needs of my chronic illness community right now as this is an unbelievably difficult path at times.

I’ll see y’all this week with our book playlist and some other fun things. ❤

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.