60 days – plus 7

If I pitched an idea for a film based on the past 7 days of my life, no one would go for it – too unrealisic, no way anyone’s life is that crazy. But that crazy it has been.

Incredible highs, terrible lows, very few moments of just normal.

Life happens that way sometimes.

In midst of all of that, my 60 day wine-free date came and went. And I did take a minute to smile and ponder and be proud.

And I’m amazed at all of things sobriety has already given me: a clearer head, more time, more energy (unless the spoonie gods are angry – but that’s another post altogether), a new school pursuit, a new support system in my Hip Sobriety circle, feeling like myself again, and much much more.

I am profoundly grateful.

With all of the wonderful, there is also plenty of just plain HARD (most things worth doing come that way): learning to manage an insanely stressful time in my life with deep breathing and walking and white knuckles, accepting that some nights I just have to lavender it up and cry it out – there is no escaping upset and pain, realizing that some “friends” aren’t really – and letting them go.

The sober learning curve is steep.

But it is so beautiful.

On day 67, I am in the midst of a gnarly flare (healthy person translation: in agony), dealing with a med change, frustrated with my uncooperative, uncoordinated body, taking some really hard lessons about life, and now getting ready to start my weekend work marathon in this condition.

It isn’t great right now.

But overall it is.

I am grateful to be here.

I am still so so free.

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