I hope to share a few happy Thanksgiving week posts with y’all over the next few days – and Happy Thanksgiving week this Monday morning ❤ – but first I really need to share an article I came across that has taken my breath.

Appearing on my homepage early today, it’s titled “After My Wife Died, I Found a 4-Word Text Message in Her Phone That Hit Me Like a Sledgehammer.”

First, please take a minute to read it:

MSN Article.

Here, the author, Danny, shares the story of his wife Maggie’s struggle with a degenerative neurological autoimmune disease that caused immense suffering – for both of them – over the last seven years of her life and ultimately took her from him after 36 years together.

As a person living with autoimmune disease especially, it is painful to read as he shares his pain and frustration as he was watching her decline, feeling that she wasn’t doing enough to “stop” it, and then later realizing that her behaviors were likely her small comforts to ease her severe distress.

(The knowledge – especially in times of severe flares – that dealing with my illness is hell for those who love and care for me is *never* far from my mind and this really drove home how wearisome it can be.)

When Maggie became critically ill due to a stroke, he made the decision, according to her wishes (she had a living will and had been clear), after days of failing efforts and her becoming more and more ill with no hope of recovery, to sign a DNR – and she passed away peacefully.

This was, of course, the right thing to do – and the only merciful choice.

However, he was wracked with such guilt that it took him three years to share with his children and other family members that he had done so.

Then there’s the text message.

A few days after her death, he found a message on her phone to her sister that simply said, “my friends have disappeared.” That, coupled with a profound sense of guilt over her last years, the DNR, and even that he had stopped sharing their bed with her, crushed him.

It crushes me too, to read. I can almost feel her loneliness and sense of abandonment. The chronic illness life can be that way at times, sadly.

There is nothing more that can be done for Maggie, but I wish peace for Danny, who is still struggling with his guilt five years later. I’m sure Maggie would not want that for him either.

This piece has been really thought-provoking.

Sending love to my fellow spoonies and caregivers as well. There is nothing easy about living with chronic illness.

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.