I don’t even know why I noticed yesterday was my “half birthday” but I did.
After being up to do some things early in the morning, I collapsed back into a chemo coma from my methotrexate shot, the likes of which I haven’t seen in many months.
Despite having a to-do list three miles long that I really needed to at least get a good start on, I was out for the better part of twelve hours.
When I did wake up, I was in tremendous pain, particularly in my fractured hip.
Actually, that is one thing that has truly been shocking to me: with the broken bones in my feet, the pain has at least leveled off after a few days. With my hip, the pain has worsened significantly, AS HAS MY MOBILITY.
Y’all, I am generally pretty positive about my disease process – what other choice is there? – but I cried most of the morning – before the coma – about my current state of affairs. I frequently stand up to find that my right hip is locking up – and the pain is overwhelmingly intense. And, often, when I walk, I am taking tiny shuffling steps and I can’t go far at all. It’s just miserable.
And, tonight, after I took all of my daily medication and gave it time to work, I decided to go to the kitchen and prepare something that I could stomach – methotrexate nausea and vomiting is also no joke – to eat. I finally settled on a simple, lovely quinoa and green bean with lemon and sesame seed dish that only took about 20 minutes to prepare:
The problem? After the 20 minutes, I was in blinding pain when I got back to my bedroom to sit down next to my resting husband and Wonderpup. So much that I actually did get sick and again cried. This. Just. Sucks.
(However, I love to cook and I have a shelf full of cookbooks in our kitchen and I am not ready to give it up. So, in the morning, I am going to ask our daughter to bring my downstairs rollator up to the kitchen – especially now that my husband has moved everything upstairs for me – and I am going to keep it in the kitchen so I can cook and sit as needed.)
This post isn’t meant to be a bummer at all – just to be honest. This hip is a whole new kind of challenge and I am having to learn new ways to manage what I actually can and can’t do for now – and having an unexpected BEAST of a chemo coma day really didn’t help either.
For now, it seems that I will need another day of bed, blankets, and books before I can even entertain thoughts of any to-do’s. So I’m settling in.
Be well, everybody. Happy Tuesday.
Grace and Blessings.