In my Facebook memories this morning – which I often forget to check but remembered by chance – was the reminder that I finished the full Mercedes Marathon 15 years ago today.

It had been a dream of mine for SO long to finish a marathon and I fought incredibly hard, both in training at the time and to finish the beast of a run.

I was so proud to finish I could have taken flight.

I felt like I had climbed Everest. ❤

I miss running terribly – and today’s reminder definitely made my heart ache.

However, I know that all the years of cross-country running and road races and long runs and dailies and my marathon were – and are – deeply important to me, even now.

I think of all the times, during the worst of my CRPS, when I couldn’t hold weight, nothing could touch my foot (even air blowing on it felt like flames), and I literally screamed in pain to try to hobble somehow to the bathroom from my bed (maybe 10 feet) or spent weeks where I could go no further than bedroom to bathroom – and had to just hold on.

I think of having to get back up and out of the smartchair several times and start walking again – and now living with chronic pain and a condition that means I don’t know what each day will bring.

I think of having to fight back up after literally ten surgeries on my feet and one nasty hip surgery.

Years of running and pushing through helped build the strength to learn to – yes, sit down and cry – and then get up and try again, a lesson that the bad days with chronic illness often call for.

So, my runner legs may be walking legs these days – for which I sincerely thank God every day – but I will always be a grateful runner. ❤

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.