Time off in Hippieville equals, among other things, projects in the Hippie Hut, frequent doctor visits, and crazy sleep schedules. This particular stretch of downtime has been no exception and I’ve found myself on a “sleep when I’m tired” type of schedule that usually has me napping from 12 AM to 4 AM or so. After about 4 hours, my body usually decides we’ve been pain-free long enough enough and it’s time to wake up. So here I am tonight. Hola!
But that’s okay. As your friendly neighborhood autoimmune hippie nerd blogger, we are due for a check in anyway. So let’s chat. 😉
the curvy life chose me
I’ve written often about my prednisone and accompanying weight that has found me with it.
However, over the weekend, my wonderful husband used his off time to help me get the Hippie Hut in order – it was driving me crazy because I can’t do much right now – and one of my projects was to clean out my closets and drawers and donate all the clothes that no longer fit me.
Holy Visceral Reminder, Batman!
While I am working to lose to some weight, it is not helpful for me to have a whole wardrobe of clothing that does not fit so it was the right thing to do.
Still, just wow.
It caused me some distress initially and I’ve really had to process it and decide what to do with those feelings.
Getting rid of those clothes made me realize that some part of me honestly still had a goal weight/size of a 4 again (though that isn’t realistic or healthy for me now). And I also realized that I CAN do that – but not in a way that is appropriate for me with my nutritional needs, particularly when I am already fighting things like bone loss.
So, after taking some time to get my head around it, it was time for some Pinterest-ing (yes, that is a word – I have decreed it thusly) and setting some realistic goals.
As I will likely be on (hopefully) low dose prednisone long term, setting a weight goal isn’t appropriate for me. Just due to fluid changes alone with the medication, my weight can shift ten pounds very quickly.
Also, my chemo dose was just increased, so through the course of a week, I go through a cycle of nausea (eat NONE of the food), chemo coma (sleep ALL of the sleep – think 18 hours), wake up starving for simple food (eat ALL of the carbs – think buttery Taziki’s style rice), and then maybe even another cycle of coma and carbs if the MTX hit me hard. Long story short, there will be no Biggest Loser style “get it in gear, I must lose 6 pounds this week” diet here. I have to be gentle with myself.
What is reasonable though is to say I’d like to stay a size 14 and swim four days per week to feel healthy and strong. When my foot is healthy again, I’ll resume my yoga as well – I miss it.
And I’ll keep working on embracing the curvier me.
After all, I am still ME and I am grateful for my body still working (mostly) and want to do all I can to be healthy and strong.
Of course, yesterday I went to the ortho doc to follow up on one of the parts of me that aren’t working so well right now – my left foot.
After three weeks off of it, there was no healing of the fracture.
The options we had were either a bone growth stimulator or surgery.
Honestly, I intended to tell him to go ahead and schedule the damn surgery, as we could do three months of the bone growth stimulator and STILL have to do it.
However, as we – the doc, my daughter, Sara, and I – talked, he mentioned that:
– my RA places me at a significantly higher risk for post-op infection (as he told us before)
– I would have to stop my MTX and my other DMARD for two weeks before and two weeks after the surgery
– I can’t stop my pred (which I knew) and that also places me at a higher risk for infection and impaired healing
– if I get an infection, I will be off my RA meds indefinitely until the infection is completely cleared
– my impaired blood flow increases the risk of infection – but it also increases the likelihood that the stimulator won’t work either – so we are in a bad spot in general there
– he would prefer to try the method that carries no risk (the stimulator) first
He then left for Sara and I to discuss things.
For those of you who don’t know my sweet Sara – and are therefore envisioning your average almost 14 year old – let me tell you that she isn’t. She is incredibly mature – which is why many of her friends are in college – and so smart (with much doctor’s appointment experience to boot). And she had listened to his take and was not on board the surgery train either.
I then messaged my husband and he felt that we should go with the conservative approach as well.
And so we did.
I was informed that the bone growth stimulator will be delivered to my home later this week and set up and I’ll be taught how to use it.
And now I’m off work for three more months.
I’m not freaking out.
You’re freaking out. . . . . . .
I’m sure I’ll post more about the creature once it’s here and I know the specifics.
For now, I’m going to focus my energy on healing, putting together the best nutrition to encourage bone growth, and doing school work and YL oil stuff, two of my favorite things.
Wishing y’all a fabulous Tuesday!
Be well, everybody!
Love and light. 💜❤️💚💛💙