trusting Him – and taking a sick day

After a couple of months of a staff person at my Rheumy’s office dropping the ball, this morning I finally went for my long awaited bone scan to determine how much damage the years of steroid therapy have inflicted.

Considering the condition of my feet, I’m not expecting the news to be great and I’ve been having a really hard time getting a handle on my anxiety about this one, made worse by the fact that I woke up regular people puny – which hardly ever happens.

A million thoughts have gone through my head:

  • If I have osteoporosis, with my balance issues, a simple fall could mean a hip – at 38.
  • How expensive are the new therapies for osteoporosis?
  • How in this world are we going to get me off these steroids?
  • Am I going to have to wait through the holiday weekend for answers on this test? (Probably)

Of course, as with anything else, panic and anxiety are only worsening this situation. . .

A few posts back, I wrote about going to see one of my favorite authors, Kasey Van Norman. Her book, Raw Faith, about her cancer journey, is a great comfort to me when I’m wigging out and I picked it up a few minutes ago and it opened to this page:

trust 1

truth.

If that isn’t a “Calm down, Miranda” message, I don’t know what would be.

And I do know God has this under control. And I will be okay, regardless of what the results of this test are. It’s just hard not to dread one more potential serious diagnosis.

So I have the Valor diffusing and I’m pushing fluids for this plague that has come upon my throat and taking even more Vitamin C than normal and staying put in bed for now.

trust 5

this.

And someone is staying close by at all times:

trust 3

love of my doggie life.

And I will take some deep breaths and pray and do some reading and find a good movie and get a nap.

And we wait.

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Thankfully, for I just don’t have it right now.

Be well, everybody.

Love and light. โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’š

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