disabled

The day after Thanksgiving, I learned that I will have to go a few more rounds with the disability process. While this isn’t unusual or unexpected, to say I am just sick about it would be a serious understatement.

Not only is everything involving the disability process a nightmare of paperwork and red tape, but also this new addition of steps will likely add at least a year – if not more – to my seeing any benefits.

My letter even states that my condition is “severe” (as if I didn’t know that) and my attorney told me that I was denied more or less based on my age. Good grief.

I don’t have words for how distressing this is . . .

Of course, despite that cloud hanging over me, we had a lovely Thanksgiving weekend, with our family, my best friend coming to visit, and church. It was really wonderful.

By yesterday, all of the activity caught up with me though and I literally slept for 20 of 24 hours. And my feet are ridiculously swollen. And my joints are staging some sort of rebellion. And my anxiety has just exploded. There is no such thing as a “normal” health day in my world.

Today is a family doctor’s appointment day though. So I’ll be taking my meds and pushing through as best I can.

Once I make it back home, this evening and all day tomorrow are reserved for PJ’s and feet-up school work, reading, and rest.

This body woke me up hurting at about 3 AM – from the looong day of sleep – with a temp of 101 to let me know that we’re done right now and I feel like I’ve been beaten with a stick. My balance is not cooperating, neither are my hands really.

This is not a complaining type report. All of these things just let me know I need to stop and rest more as soon as possible or things will decompensate quickly.

To keep myself from going into a serious slump (and it’s hard not to at this very moment), I am so thankful that One Thousand Gifts came my way.

I just started #mirandas1000 on my Insta and I’m starting my own 1000 list as well.

I’m trying to focus on all of the good things that have come my way since I’ve experienced this major life change.

Even though it’s not how I planned it, these days I get to be:

a stay at home wife and mom
a stay at home dog mom (and I have a Henry!!!)
a writer
a nutrition student
a sunday school teacher

And I am truly grateful for all of those.

I will meet with my attorney later this week to deal with this latest development, and, otherwise, there is nothing more I can do but take care of myself, pray, and trust that God is in control of this.