If you look over my tattoos, they are mostly quotes and words. Bits and pieces I love. Parts of my story.
I love words.
I tend to hide in my books after a rough day. And yesterday was just terrible and bizarre and hard and unnecessary and frustrating with a child in a way my husband and I did not see coming. So, after getting some school work done, it was time for me to seek refuge.
Cheryl Strayed is probably my favorite modern writer and she and I have spent tonight hanging out and I am ever grateful for her.
As I’ve been praying and meditating and breathing into a very complex situation that I’ve covered in prayer and oils and tears, I finally came to the point of accepting that it is out of my control, when I came across this:
And I am sitting in the small quiet room.
I realize now that I have been trying to control a situation that is actually beyond my control and it is making me so much sicker.
So, in a bit, I’ll be leaving this space to go to the Emergency Room – which I’ve been avoiding like the plague – to deal with this RA flare that has come on with a vengeance. My body cannot handle these crazy, crazy days and it is grateful for the letting go as well.
Still, it will be okay. I will get some treatment and it will help me get better and we have one of our dearest friend’s weddings to celebrate and our family to spend time with and it’s going to be wonderful.
Even after a terrible day, I am tough and I will go on. And I am choosing joy.
Be well, everybody.
Grace and blessings.