ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

For dust you are, and to dust you will return. – Genesis 3:19

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. – Psalm 90:12

This is an unusual Ash Wednesday for me.

I write to you with a wound vac on my right foot and a PICC line in my right arm, awaiting my fourth – yes, FOURTH – home health nurse visit this week.

(It’s a good thing she’s fabulous and we’re friends.)

Everything is okay with me – we’ve just had some issues arise every day with one device or the other. UGH.

As for me, I’ve always liked Ash Wednesday, always thought it was such a beautiful and meaningful service and time to reflect. . .

This year is definitely different for me though. It carries a new sort of meaning entirely.

See, I thought last fall having osteomyelitis was frightening – and it was – but I had NO idea what was coming.

Since the beginning of 2020, I have been septic twice – and, even without organ failure, cases of sepsis carry with it a 15 – 30% risk of death when they occur. Yes, this has been a rough health year (and old nurses know way too much for their own good sometimes).

And, when I received my final discharge paperwork from my hospital admission last week, sepsis was actually third in line on my discharge diagnosis list. The primary diagnosis was “Severe Systemic Inflammatory Response Syndrome” – indicating that my autoimmune disease has worsened dramatically as well, which is also frightening.

I have spent some time in the Valley of the Shadow recently for sure.

Dust we are and to dust we will return.

That wasn’t lost on me before of course. As you all may recall, I’m writing a book about death – I just didn’t expect to spend time walking so close a line as I have of late – but God has numbered our days and God has seen me through.

As for my Lenten season?

I’ll be adding daily mailings and the She Reads Truth lenten study and also lenten prayers.

My wish for all of you is that you reflect – not in a morbid but in a meaningful way – on the relatively short amount of time between our dashes that you may number your days and gain a heart of wisdom.

I’ll be doing the same. ❤