i still miss someone

Today I drove Laura, our oldest daughter, out to my parents house to spend the night.

Of course, I stayed and spent some time with my dad and my adorable new furry sister, Shadow.

Then I hopped in Janis and took the long way down 459 back home so I could make a quick stop by my cardiologist’s office.

Since it was a nice day, I had the sunroof open and I was happily cruising along when I suddenly, really, desperately, terribly wanted to call my bestie’s mom – who was also pretty much my adopted mom – Marie.

It has been seven years now since Marie passed away and I still have these days sometimes.

See, not only is my youngest daughter named after her, I have plenty of her habits and mannerisms and she is truly the voice in my head most of the time. I can just hear her saying, “Now, Miranda. . .” and stopping me from doing goofy things.

When my children were small – and I, having been an only child, knew nothing about babies – I called her EVERY DAY for help.

I still have all the cards and letters she sent me when she got sick and moved out of town for awhile.

And, today, I didn’t need anything at all.

It’s just that, when she was with us, it was a really difficult time in my life. And she always promised me that it would get better. She just knew.

And she was so right.

And I wish so desperately that she could have been here to get to know my husband and visit our home and meet my family in love and see the kids all grown up and hear tales of our wild beasts and just know that it’s all so much better now.

All I really wanted to tell her today was that her namesake started IB school and my Bug was fabulous on 459 and my furry sibling was adorable and I was going home to put my bum foot up and do school work for my awesome nutrition program.

Just that it was a good regular old day.

And I wanted to hear her voice and her laugh so badly.

So I cried for a bit.

I’m sure I always will sometimes.

And then tonight we were watching Modern Family – my fave – and it was the Mother’s Day episode and the family made a huge deal because Jay broke down crying talking about his mother, saying “You only get one Mom.”

That is entirely true.

Ginny and I only got one Marie.

And, man, we were the luckiest to have gotten her. ❤

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