accepting what is

Last Tuesday morning, I woke up with my broken left foot that I am currently undergoing bone growth stimulator therapy on and a healthy right foot.

I went about my usual (very limited) activity throughout the day.

By Tuesday night, it was clear to me that I also had a broken right foot, as it was hurting in the same way my left foot does, but much worse.

I had done nothing to injure it.

In fact, I had really done nothing at all through out the day.

But I have been on Prednisone for a long time, I am sick, and my bones are weak.

So they are breaking.

I went to the ER on Wednesday and to Ortho on Friday.

And, sure enough, I have two broken feet.

______________________

As I wrote in my last post, I just rediscovered my online friend, Sara Frankl, who passed away in 2011, due to autoimmune disease.

She blogged daily almost until her death and I found great comfort in rereading her blog posts last week. Since that was so helpful, I decided to also read the book one of her friends compiled, Choose Joy, again.

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I have no doubt that my rediscovering Sara now is God’s timing because so many of her struggles and so many of her joys are identical to my own. I so needed to find another spoonie who has walked this path. It has been a balm to my soul.


With two broken feet and RA that just won’t quit, my nursing days have come to an end. I am now a Young Living Oil Lady, a homeschool mom, and a just starting out Integrative Nutrition Health Coach (much of which will be done via Skype right now).

Much of my life is spent at home and in my Sheldon Cooper-esque spot on my bed.

And I could not be more grateful for my husband who has always (always, ALWAYS) tried to make my dreams come true.

See, even though his style is minimalist, he built the rainbow sparkle cozy Hippie Hut of my dreams so I love to be at home (which is wonderful since I am here all the time now):

And when we had to get another car, he found a way to get my dream car:

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And when we were out driving and finally had a chance to discuss my MD appointment from the day before – it’s been super busy in the Hippie Hut – and I told him that my doctor seriously suggested that I have an emotional support service dog, he immediately rerouted the car, headed to the Humane Society (we only rescue our dogs), and helped me find my Henry that day, even though we have a million other things going on, including my work disablity situation.henry1

He has taken care of me and loved me and looked after me, no matter what, and I am so so incredibly grateful and blessed and lucky and loved.

All of these things have made the life transitions I’m making easier on me and have made my life better and happier.

When it comes to Henry Albus Eleanor (because he has a diva streak) Herring, the love of my doggie life, I had to really smile as I read Sara’s book because she too had a small dog, Riley, who was her constant companion, comforting her through her illness, as Henry does for me.

About Riley she wrote, “My dog loves me so fiercely I sincerely don’t know if I’d be sane without him. And the truth of the matter is, having him with me all the time feels as important to me as if he were my seeing-eye dog. He is my constant, my company. He makes me laugh, brings me joy, and settles my soul.”

“As important to me as if he were my seeing-eye dog.” I know that feeling well with my Henry. It’s so so hard sometimes to navigate this chronic illness life. It’s exhausting, it’s stressful, it’s lonely at times. Sometimes my pain level is so great that simply breathing is agony. And having my Wonderpup to just be with me is a great comfort that I can’t explain, especially now that I have two bad feet.

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Coming to the point of having a service dog also helped prepare me for the next level of my illness: the rollator.

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As a nurse, when I was working and my pain level would be off the chain, I would joke that I was going to borrow a patient’s rollator. Well, now with a bad spine, painful hips, unruly knees, and broken feet, I do need one.

Our precious GJ is always blessing us and this was no exception: she had one in her home that she had ready for me when we went to visit her last week. I am so blessed and loved.

I name everything so I had to laugh when I learned that Sara also named her rollator (it was George). Mine shall be called Shadrach. Of course, he will also be properly decorated.

And rather than being upset about him, I will be thankful for GJ gifting him to me, for my being able to get around as well as I do, and for all the good times I will have with Shadrach.


Finally, as I think about choosing joy, I think of all that has come with my Young Living Essential Oils that I am so thankful for:

I’ve started a small business with my youngest daughter.

I’ve reconnected with my super sweet, funny, smart, fun friend, Frankie.

I’ve met some amazing new friends that I just adore.

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I’ve found a new calling.

I want our business to be successful (of course) but what it has done for my spirit is more valuable than anything monetary.

I am so grateful for this wonderful new part of my life, especially now.


Though there is plenty of pain and stress to go around and lots to sort out right now, I believe with all my heart that it will be okay.

I have started the bone healing vitamin protocol and I am doing all I can to help my body get well.

I am trusting God and know He will take care of the rest.

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Be well, everybody.

Love and light. β€οΈπŸ’›πŸ’œπŸ’™πŸ’š

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