I have so many things I want to tell y’all. . . and I will.
But, first, here’s the headline in my world today. . .
I went to sleep – a full 24 hours of chemo coma, more or less. . .
And woke up to (a lil’ bit of) SNOW!!!!
I am VERY excited about this early Christmas present. ❤
And, as I said, there is so much to tell from the past few days.
I saw my feet doc on Monday and the news was pretty much as expected:
The only metatarsal standing in my left foot is the first. The rest have given up the ghost.
In the right foot, the center three have broken. It is now bruising and hurting so much worse than before because the fifth in that foot is basically trying to break but can’t because of an old screw from 2008 – so it bruises and bleeds and hurts instead.
Surgery is still out because I “WOULD have complications.”
Honestly, having taken care of many patients my age who insisted on surgeries despite the advice of their docs without considering their health issues and subsequently were in my facility on Vancomycin and other antibiotics for three months or more with non-healing wounds – and sometimes ended up losing limbs – I’m not going to tell my doctor that I know better than him. I don’t.
Also, having even broken feet to walk around at least to the bathroom and kitchen is waaaay better than losing them. I’m just saying.
I fully intellectually understand all of this – but ortho day still sucks – and takes a bit to recover from.
But I do.
After the ortho experience, I had a wonderful dinner with my bestie and then came home and fell out. ❤
The next day was a home day mostly.
That evening, my better half and I watched the BEST movie on Netflix that I am recommending to everybody:
So touching and funny and smartass-y and just wonderful. Watch. It.
Also, the name Maximus never fully sat right for my Smartchair – and my ortho doc said, yes, he is forever. After this film, his permanent name is Mervin. It suits him. 🙂
Then yesterday was shot day and it was – except for a few little wake ups – a FULL dang 24 hour chemo coma. #fixitjesus RA just really bites sometimes.
But, again, SNOW! when I woke up! Thank you, Jesus!
And I have two projects that are really important to me to share with y’all.
One is just a smallish thing that was an awesome surprise this morning:
I always call Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber my priest and I read her books and listen to her podcasts. Well, this morning, I learned that I will be part of the launch team for her upcoming book – and I am SO freaking excited about that! ❤
Just a huge yay!
The other thing I want to share is a bigger one.
I won’t be made useless
I won’t be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear.
– Hands, Jewel
It’s been really difficult to absorb being able to do less and less completely for myself with this ortho situation. It’s been depressing at times, anxiety inducing, overwhelming.
I have used the word “useless” to describe myself more than once, out of pure frustration.
And that’s no good at all.
And, even when I can’t walk, not true.
Several things I’ve been working on have come together and given me a new idea of what I want to put together.
I’ve been working on a fairly extensive article – that I’ve mentioned before – on eating disorders, body image, and body positivity. In fact, I am passionate about eating real food and intuitive eating and body positivity and am trained to work with people in those areas.
So, I plan to focus on setting up a practice focusing on those things that is 100% online from my office, via Skype and FaceTime.
I’ll be blogging content AND setting up YouTube with some video content as well to share health information and other body positivity and body neutrality related topics.
Of course, I’ll continue to write my regular blogs and articles also.
I’m just really ready to work on my health practice – on non-chemo and non-doctor days.
So, that’s all I know for now. 😉
Be well, everybody.
Grace and Blessings.
writer. holistic nutritionist. disabled nurse. wife. kid & fur mom. Follower of Jesus. Spirit Junkie.