feeling all the feels in times of crps and covid.

I cried at a picture of friends out sitting in folding chairs after finishing a trail hike this morning.

I cried because I miss hiking and running trails sometimes (most of the time) and I didn’t sign up for this week of pure pain syndrome hell that has just pushed me to my edges and floored me sometimes.

I cried because the folding chairs in the back of MY truck are there because we used them during my last damn hospital admission and I keep forgetting to give them back to my daddy.

I cried because I DO feel isolated right now since even walking to the kitchen is a heroic effort at the moment with a whole hip and leg not wanting to play nice and that’s before I think about the COVID devil.

I cried because the idiots in charge sure don’t have a handle on the COVID devil – and I know who will pay for that.

I cried because John Prine died.

I cried because I need a shower and this damn hip is on fire – so that’s going to be another “normal activity” that is a major excruciating undertaking for me. . .

I cried because a few friends in my spoonie group do have COVID and that’s scary as hell.

(It’s okay to get down sometimes when it’s all too much. . . as long as you don’t sit there too long.)

So then. . .

I cuddled up with Henry the Wonderpup.

We took a fantastic nap.

Upon arising, I laughed sooo hard at Henry’s barely awake seester – and ate a lovely breakfast.

Then we learned a new word. . .

And, as your friendly neighborhood holistic nutritionist, I suggest you take care of yourself, avoid the scale, and embrace this word as well until this quarantine business is over. . . We are surviving a pandemic with shelter in place. . . We’ll deal with the seven pounds later. . .  😉

Then, as I often do when I have a pain crisis I just can’t shake, I revisited my friend Sara Frankl’s book, Choose Joy.

Sara suffered greatly with autoimmune disease before she went to be with Jesus – but she never lost her hope or joy and her words are always such an encouragement.

I also discovered – by accident, by Facebook recommendation – that Michael W. Smith has been performing from his home as his tour was cancelled, along with everyone else’s amid this crisis. Having listened to his music since I was in youth group, I started listening to some of his recordings, and, oh my word, am I glad I did. Just so beautiful and they really lifted my spirit. ❤

Of course, his song “Way Maker” has really come back around during this difficult difficult time – and it’s easy to see why.

I can’t imagine a better song for now.

Whether it is my health situation or our overall situation, I DO believe God is our Way Maker. 

I know it.

Way Maker

Miracle Worker

Promise Keeper

Light In The Darkness

My God

That is Who You Are.

– Way Maker. Michael W. Smith

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Let’s all keep trusting and hanging on.

Grace and Blessings.