Recently, I have been more ill than usual in some ways, with this fierce pneumonia persisting on top of frequent flares – and now a cataract surgery scheduled for next week as well (because I am so blind in my left eye that, uncorrected, my vision is 20/counting fingers – meaning I cannot see the letters on the chart at all).

While the precious blessing of my family here in the Hippie Hut is one I will never take for granted – they are my whole heart ❤ – the issues I want to talk about right now relate to friendships and how they are affected by chronic illness and symptom severity. 

After a period of being able to make plans for the most part, I am again in a place right now where my health is unpredictable to say the least. It may well be months before I am fully recovered from the pneumonia that is still giving me troubles – especially as summer heat and terrible air quality are upon us – and I am also dealing with some other RA issues flaring and these vision issues that must be addressed with surgery. 

All of these things have come together to render me a spoonie who is often not available for fun things with my people right now. In addition to the actual illness issues I am dealing with, my strength and stamina are pitiful.

Of course, the world keeps turning when we are sick – and, as many spoonies report feeling left out – it is hard to realize that your absence isn’t noticed sometimes when plans are being made – because it has become a given that no one need look for you.

This is not anyone’s fault – but it is a shattering sort of realization, especially after having been “more able” for awhile.

In recent days and weeks, I have shed many tears and dealt with a crushing sort of grief (again) as I am resigned to the ever-changing limitations of my body – and the knowing that – with these issues – often comes the need to accept a “new normal” over and over.

I share this because I know I am not alone in these feelings. Unfortunately, they are reported almost universally in the chronic illness community.

We must continually adapt to the situation of our bodies on any given day, at any hour, or even changing from moment to moment. . . People who don’t experience this sort of health inconsistency have a difficult time imagining it.

This is just one of those tough, tough situations we all have to learn to live with – sometimes again and again. It isn’t an easy thing – but we manage each time – and I will too. ❤

And, as always, onward. ❤

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.