#fixitjesus (today was that rough)

At the end of last week, my bestie and I made a fabulous trip to the ATL for some girl time and some IKEA shopping.

As always, I love, love, love bestie day – I would tag along with her for yearly income tax and colonoscopy day if she asked me to – and my first IKEA trip was fantastical. I came home with all sorts of kitchen goodies (I am all about some kitchenware), some adorbs new lights for my altar, and a super cute new duvet set (literally $25 – how much do we love IKEA, fellow bargain shopping ladies?):

Such a great day.

Healthwise, though, I had been pretty rough, and, by Saturday, I found myself doing this number again:

The bottom line: low potassium, high heart rate, RA flare, left foot re-fractured. Good times all around.

They pushed fluids, corrected the potassium, gave me steroids to break my flare, and sent me home to see ALL the doctors this week.

So I rested Sunday and we came to today – and what a day it has been.

I wondered how to tackle it all and decided this is a three part, wordy type post.

So, here we go.

My Visit To The Ortho Doc (A.K.A. The Bad News Bear)

As instructed by the ER physician, I called the orthopedist’s office first thing this morning, told them I seemed to have broken my foot again, and asked if they could see me this week. Since they are awesome, they worked me in this afternoon.

Thankfully, school is still out and my amazing daughter Sara is always ready to help me with my appointments – and truly never complains – so we loaded up and off we went.

Some paperwork, a few x-rays, and a short exam later, Dr. Hurowitz delivered all kinds of bad news: It appears that my foot has never fully healed from the first break. And it’s worse now. Also, with my RA, my odds of healing from surgery – because it isn’t a small surgery – without complications are worse than a diabetics – and that is before we factor in the fact that I have severely impaired blood flow in my left leg.

Holy Crappy Medical Report, Batman!

His orders for today? Three full weeks off my foot with a boot up to my knee. And no work.

All of this to qualify me for a bone stimulator – that may or may not work to avoid the surgery in question.


Somehow – a miracle (really!) – I got out of there, with my boot and prescription for my knee roller thing-y, and without the panic attack or crying spell I felt coming on, and Sara and I went and picked up my new friend for the foreseeable future:

We have since gotten home and onto processing the other issues of the day (though I still don’t know what to think of this downtime).

Pain Management

I’ve written recently about pain management among the chronically ill and, in particular, about a suicide in our spoonie community directly related to unmanaged pain.

This morning, I woke up with no pain medication, with my knees burning, my spine on fire, and my broken left foot throbbing.

And, honest to God, my first thought was, “If I had to do this everyday, I couldn’t.” And that is the truth. It’s too much.

Of course, as an established patient, I got to the doctor, was examined, and was given appropriate pain medication.

Still, my god-awful awakening reminded me yet again to keep yelling from every stump I can find to yell from that this is a huge problem for so many spoonies.

So many patients can’t get the help they need. Or they aren’t taken seriously by medical staff. Or they don’t have the health coverage to be seen in the first place. There are many obstacles. And they go untreated. And it can truly be fatal.

And, as long as it is a problem, I will never stop speaking up.

Living in such pain is no life.

It is unbearable.

Everyone deserves access to appropriate healthcare.

End of sermon.

Heartbreaking News

I saved the worst for last.

While we were in the waiting room to see the ortho doc, my daughter got some terrible news: the older sister of one of her friends – a sweet young woman we all know – died from a heroin overdose.

I am just heartsick.

I am devastated at the loss of someone who was truly just a baby.

I am upset for her family and for my daughter and for everyone affected.

Also, as a mom, when something like this hits so close to home, I can’t help but feel my own chest tighten as I worry about another of my children who struggles at times with being a follower and not making good decisions.

It’s just an awful situation.

And there is no fixing it and nothing to make it better.

It’s just terrible.

And, as always, my alcohol and substance abuse spill is the same:

If you are struggling, help is available.

Please, please take it.

If you need inpatient help, even if you don’t have insurance, go to your local emergency room. They have resources available and they WILL see you.

Don’t wait.


Needless to say, I’m wiped after this day.

I am going to finish my nerdy documentary and read for a bit and get some sleep (tomorrow is a three appointment day).

Be well, everybody.

Love and light. 💚💙💜❤💛

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