Less than 24 hours ago, I wrote a post about my precious pastor’s wonderful sermon last Sunday on hope, thinking it was for someone reading my blog – and I have no doubt that it was.
What I didn’t know then was that it was also maybe a bit for me too, for the terrible horrible no good very bad day that was coming my way today.
It started with a trip to my ortho doc this morning, where I went prepared to probably hear that my non-healing fracture of my fourth metatarsal still isn’t healing. My left foot has been swelling and REALLY hurting so I had no reason to think it had improved and I had braced myself.
What I hadn’t considered until Dr. H – who is wonderful – showed me on X-Ray is that, in addition to that fracture, I’ve also got a fracture in my second metatarsal now.
So we made some adjustments to my treatment plan for the next month and still agree that I am NOT a good surgical candidate – high risk for complications like infection and poor wound healing and would have to stop my RA meds for two weeks before and after surgery so I would flare like Hale – so we will just stay the course for now.
I then hopped in Janis and had a nice cry on the way home about that blessed news.
While I was home I worked on a few things while I was waiting to go to Sara’s school at 3. However, sometime between 1:45 and 3, I did that great falling asleep sitting up with no warning thing and slept through her pickup time, scaring her to death and causing her to have to call for a ride.
Fan. Freaking. Tastic.
After that fiasco, we had a few other yuck things going on and I decided to hop in the shower and get ready to run to the pharmacy while my husband was on his way home from work so we could try to rest downstairs for the evening.
While I was in the shower, a vein in my lower right leg ruptured and blood began spurting all over the place. As I was alone, it took me a bit to gather myself, contain the bleed, and find something – sports tape – to hold enough pressure to stop it. I think it probably bled for about ten minutes.
Giant mess anyone? And Holy Unpleasant Surprise, Batman!
When my husband got home, he took me to the ER, where, thanks to flu season, we had a pretty long wait because I had contained the bleed as long as it was taped. When we finally saw the doctor, she stitched it and gave me steroid and anti-inflammatory injections for my RA grodiness.
And we finally got home four hours later.
What. A. Day.
So, as I said, I believe hope is something we all really really need, in part because we never know when the terrible horrible no good very bad days are coming.
And broken feets that won’t heal – and keep getting worse – are scary.
And – even when you are a nurse – gushing blood when you are alone is a bit scary.
And problem after problem after problem is overwhelming.
And it’s okay to say that.
And it’s okay to cry.
And it’s okay to admit that it sucks (see last post’s point #5 – we WILL have trouble).
But, at the end of the day, we do still know where our hope is found.
(But it never hurts to be reminded.)
As for me, I’m all settled in now, wide awake from the steroid injection, with feets up, GF thin mints in hand, preparing to have my quiet time and then maybe do some reading and check out a few new episodes of The Crown (yay! yay! yay!).
And tomorrow I will rest and enjoy the day with my Henry and the evening with my better half.
And then Saturday is a big, important day at our church, our Giving Hope day, helping share the love of Jesus with our community by helping our local families have special Christmas celebrations.
I. Cannot. Wait.
Even when the bad days come, He is with us.
And He sends us good ones to look forward to.
Be well, everybody.
Grace and blessings.
writer. holistic nutritionist. disabled nurse. wife. kid & fur mom. Follower of Jesus. Spirit Junkie.