a new healthy “normal”

So, my hair has been a thing for me for over six months now.

I shaved it last Fall when it started coming out in clumps because of my RA meds:

At the time, I tried to convince myself that it would be okay as it was necessary.

And maybe if it hadn’t been timed along with a high dose prednisone weight gain it wouldn’t have been SO bad. I don’t know.

But walking around with no hair for months and months just sucks.

And, finally, now I am so freaking happy that I’m starting to look like myself again:

April 18, 2018 – Hippie-ing it up at the fru fru hotel while Sara was taking her SAT.


And I’m working on the weight gain for my health as well.

But I’m still on the pred – so I’m mostly just doing the best I can and eating nourishing whole foods most of the time.

One thing I’ve realized recently, though, is that, even if I manage to lose most or all of the weight (though I honestly don’t see 115 happening anytime soon), I still won’t look like this again:

circa 2012 – before The Beast

I’m older, I’ll still have the pred moon face, things change. . .

And that’s okay because I’ve changed too.

I’ve experienced so much with my disease and subsequent disability and the blessing of my sobriety and going back to school and becoming a coach. It’s a whole different life.

So my project for this week is to clean out ALL of the clothes that don’t fit me now.

As I lose weight, I’ll get new ones then that fit instead of having to dig through a closet full of clothes that don’t fit me today.

Since I am a total consignment/thrift shopper, this isn’t an expensive proposition and I can’t take my non-functional wardrobe anymore. It’s depressing.

The reason this has all come up now is because:

  1. I’m starting to feel more pretty – despite not enjoying the weight – now that I have some fur again (yay!).
  2. I’ve been thinking about body image often while I’m writing book pages.
  3. The Biggie: I’m working on designing my health coaching program since my graduation is in a few weeks and I know these feelings and weight issues and health problems are a big deal for lots of my spoonie sisters too. So I am literally and figuratively cleaning out my own closet so I can help my girlies do the same. We can’t take care of bodies we hate.

I’ve said before that, though I will help women work weight loss programs if that is what they want, I don’t want to primarily do weight loss coaching. I would love to help my spoonie sisters learn about whole foods and alternative health additions and work with them on these crappy crummy nasty body image issues that often tag along as side effects of our diseases and our medications.

I think that’s what I’m a coach to do – and they get a nurse as an added bonus. So I just know God has a purpose for me in all of this.

So, here we go!

And yay for upcoming graduation! #iinmay2018

Be well, everybody. Eat your kale (or broccoli or carrots).

Grace and blessings.







  1. I forced myself to do that closet clean out last year accepting that my weight gain would be more long term than I ever hoped. I sold most of the things on Poshmark and donated the rest to a women’s shelter. It was actually invigorating to get rid of them because I no longer tried to force myself into clothes that didn’t fit and cause a whole new string of depression. Also, hair or no hair, you are beautiful!


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