Talking to myself and feeling old

Sometimes I’d like to quit 

Nothing ever seems to fit

Hanging Around

Nothing to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I’ve got they used to call the blues

Nothing is really wrong

Feeling like I don’t belong

Walking around

Some kind of lonely clown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you

Nice to know somebody loves me

Funny but it seems that it’s the only thing to do

Run and find the one who loves me

What I feel has come and gone before

No need to talk it out

We know what it’s all about

Hanging around

Nothing to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

— Rainy Days and Mondays, The Carpenters

I’ve loved Thc Carpenters since I was a little girl and I watched a made for TV movie about them with my Daddy and heard Karen’s voice.

This song – one of my favorites – came to mind tonight after several rainy days and a cold front have brought me quite the pain situation that just doesn’t want to let up.

(Additionally, my Henry fell terribly ill at the beginning of the week. Praise the Lord, he is on the mend now. . . but this week has been so ugly.)

While unpleasant, that isn’t what I want to talk about right now though.

It’s the Mondays I want to talk about. . .

See, today, during the pain situation, I got to contended with a different home health nurse – my friend took an in-office job – who is a talented nurse who needs to work on her bedside manner.

So, what did she say to me, after stating she was sooo glad it’s Friday?

“Well, I guess every day is Friday for you.”

Y’all, I am so freaking serious.

Every. Day. With. Chronic. Illness. Is. Waking. Up. ON. A. FREAKING. MONDAY.

BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW WHAT MY BODY IS GOING TO DO.

I absolutely know there WILL be pain.

I don’t know where all it will be.

I don’t know how widespread it will be.

I pray it isn’t too severe.

I DO know there WILL be pain.

I also don’t know how bad my balance will be.

I don’t know if my hands will be cooperating.

I don’t know if I will discover NEW issues.

I currently don’t know how well or how quickly my right foot is going to heal.

I don’t know how cooperative my vision is going to be.

There are many other variables as well.

So, no, friend, every day is NOT a Friday for me, not some sort of vacay.

It’s a Monday. . .

Don’t misunderstand me. I have a wonderful family – an amazing husband who loves me and always looks after me, a wonderful daughter who always cares for me so well, the world’s best weenie dog, precious parents I talk to every day – a great home, and I love my life. I have so many blessings – and I never forget that.

However, for a nurse to come into my home after a rough rough week and suggest that I am just vacationing through my days?

No.

I make it through my health struggles BECAUSE I have my family and so many good things that keep me going.

I keep fighting for all the good times with my people. And keep learning and working.

And doing my best to share about the spoonie life and what we all deal with.

And to help overcome ignorance.

And to choose joy anyway.

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.