fragile times.

I know how everyone else’s life is supposed to fly by

Then someone turns and says

What about you?

And I stand here

Mouth open

Mind blank

This should have all worked itself out by now

The map of my life should be clear and precise

With little red dashes and circles so nice

Showing roadblocks 

And landmines

Oh, I am not unbreakable

I am breaking right now

Maybe everyone can’t have the dream

Maybe everyone can’t kiss the frog

Maybe it’ll be me and a dog

And the little stuffed dolphins on the floor

And the little dog door

Oh, I am not unbreakable

I am breaking right now

I need to be unbreakable 

Somehow

It’s never

Or now.

— Sutton Foster, Unbreakable, Stars Hollow the Musical

In the midst of the zoo that is Stars Hollow the Musical is this beautiful song that I love, performed by Sutton Foster, whom I also love.

Though I know better than most that I am NOT unbreakable, this past week has me feeling it 100%.

My Wound

Last Monday, at ortho, I was told that my wound is still not healing as quickly as we would like and was actually shown the tendon connecting my toe. I was told to rest it and given new dressing orders and then it was more or less suggested that we’ll need to go back in if it hasn’t improved in two weeks.

Fantastic.

Our Henry

Then our Henry fell terribly frighteningly ill with a relapse of his autoimmune hemolytic anemia (AIHA). He has improved greatly and is now home and going back and forth to the vet twice a day for meds and blood sugar checks but for a few days he was in the hospital and it was terribly scary.

We are so so grateful that he is home, eating like a lil’ horse, and back to himself again. ❤

So insanely grateful that the love of my doggie life is back to properly dachshund-ing. ❤

Diabetes Roller Coaster

During all of this, my blood sugar – I’m sure related to the stress – started running a crazy pattern, great one minute, bottoming the next, and I’ve had to really start learning how to deal with it as a patient on insulin – which is a totally different ballgame than diabetic teaching as a nurse.

It has been a bit overwhelming – but I am reading and watching videos and making adjustments so I can be as healthy as possible.

When it rains. . .

New Food Allergy

Finally, before I get to our communal issue, my last personal craziness came from a new food allergy. When I had food allergy testing a few years ago, it did show a soy intolerance and I generally have avoided it – but it has never caused me any major issues – until now. It turns out it is one of my VERY favorite foods – and it started making me terribly ill. I mean SO. FREAKING. SICK.

So, yay, a new food – for real, full-blown – allergy.

Imma need to start living on air and apples, y’all.

And Then There’s COVID-19

Of course, the Coronavirus crisis is affecting everyone in one way or another.

I live in the most densely populated county in my state, and, now that we’ve gotten around to testing – some people #fixitjesus – we are finding some rapidly climbing numbers.

In fact, our county health department JUST announced that all child care centers will be closed for a week and all restaurants and bars will be closed except for food pickup and delivery.

It’s starting.

Of course, I’ve already written about my feelings about this situation as a #highriskcovid19 but it continues to get more frightening. It is now confirmed that the virus is airborne (OF COURSE IT IS – it’s a respiratory VIRUS, people).

Still, it gets more and more scary when I realize that it’s going to be a longer haul than most are expecting and many aren’t taking heed of the warnings.

https://mashable.com/article/people-bars-coronavirus-social-distancing/

This sort of brazenly selfish behavior endangers us all, particularly those of us that are at a higher risk.

I can’t emphasize enough how important following these guidelines is to people like me and to seniors as well.

Overloading our healthcare system now will cost lives – and some people either don’t understand this or simply don’t care.

Taking all of this in is enough to break anyone.

 And there is a whole ‘nother post coming – today – about this.

As it is needed.

But I wanted to do an update post quickly as to what’s been going on in our world.

Of course, Henry and I are at home, trying to stay well, and my amazing husband has been taking such good care of us.

So we will keep on putting one foot – and paw – in front of the other.

And reading and writing and watching all of the Disney movies. . .

And we will trust the Lord especially in these times when we feel so so fragile.

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “fragile times.

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  1. Yes, riding the Diabetes dragon is far different than supervising the rider. Sometimes, the dragon bucks and roars and you get burned . for no good reason other than you are strapped to yours. May The Holy Spirit calm your dragon and soothe him/her back to sleep , so that at least the Blood Sugars don’t make you feel so bad. Glucose tablets in raspberries flavor is good for my dog.

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