the last (wo)man standing.

Gonna choose sunlight

Gonna drink wine

Bound to win a few fights, before my time

Gonna make love now

Ain’t the future bright

Gonna be the last man standing tonight. . .

Gonna make a difference

Gonna speak my mind

Even when my nerve fails

Even in the dark times

Gonna count the blessings

Celebrate the wins

Gonna be the last man standing. . .

Gonna be a good friend

Gonna be a family guy

Gonna pour my heart out till the day after I die

And when I’m an angel, looking for a landing

Gonna be the last man standing, yeah. . .

— Last Man Standing, Stephen Kellogg, 2016

I don’t understand why life is so damn painful sometimes – but these last few weeks especially have been so for my people.

One friend lost her home and two of her fur babies to a devastating fire.

Another spoonie friend passed away after a long struggle with complications from her disease.

My precious friend who has been fighting stage four breast cancer learned that it has metastasized to her brain and she is undergoing two weeks of daily radiation therapy – which is just so damn hard.

Finally, my dear friend dealing with COVID (as well as spoonie issues) continues to fight to recover in the hospital – having been there for 40-ish days already – and has also had to contend with our nasty, cold-hearted, Cruella Deville, evil witch of a former boss throwing further issues at her – WHILE she is hospitalized with coronavirus – AND she is having severe leg pain that is just miserable.

UGH.

Sometimes life is just TOO. MUCH.

(And, though nothing comparatively, I have an endoscopy/colonoscopy scheduled at the end of the week to figure out what the hay is going on with all of these insane GI symptoms. Augh!!!)

With so much having gone awry, last night I joined in on one of my very favorite artists, Stephen Kellogg’s Virtual Tour shows.

Not only was it just plain fun with a “drinking songs” theme – and really much needed with the crazy spoonie stuff I’ve been dealing with – but he also played one of my favorite songs of his, Last Man Standing.

I can’t think of a better song for my people right now, when the only way out is through and the why of all of this will never be apparent.

I have to say that the loss of my spoonie friend absolutely took my breath and I hate it so much – but she lived her life to the fullest and fought like hell to the end.

And for the rest of us?

It’s been a rough ride for sure – but we’re all still here and kicking and fighting.

We’re gonna pour our hearts out until the day after we die. ❤

Here’s to being the last (wo)man standing, y’all. 

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.