the flare that just will not break.

I can’t write honestly about the autoimmune life without writing about the times when things go awry and nobody on my medical team or I can seem to help or figure out why.

This latest flare I’ve been sharing about has hit my whole body with overwhelming fatigue and generalized pain – but also come with very specific and severe pain and function issues in my right wrist and hand and my right ankle. The pain in my right ankle is just relentless; sometimes it is a low level hard aching pain and sometimes it is an intense throbbing that is just breathtaking – but it never stops.

With my multiple autoimmune diagnosis, when things are this out of sorts, it’s impossible to know what illness is causing what symptom – and , at a certain point, it almost doesn’t matter. My whole body is inflamed and we just need it to stop.

It looks like this right now:

the lupie rash is blossoming.
I am trying to brace my right wrist as it is not working well at all – a real issue for a math class that requires a lot of writing.

And, oh my word, the feet and ankles:

unfortunately, the feet and ankles in all their uncovered glory.

And then the alternative look at my feet and ankles – the fancy version:

this is my Bob Weir look – because, when my feet are like this, I have sensory issues and wearing my Tevas with my feet exposed is also incredibly painful – so this is the only footwear scenario that works. Bringing sexy back. (Thank you, Jen, for my fantastical socks. ❤ )

This week, I have had a visit with my rheumatologist, who assessed the entire situation and came up with: the weather change is really bad for all of your conditions, you are really really sick (i.e. have a “severe case”), and the only thing to do is more oral prednisone. Tough cookies and go with God.

That was basically what I took from our conversation.

I also saw my PCP and she was great even though there was very little she could do. She did at least listen, give me shots of steroids and anti-inflammatories, and help come up with a plan for new consults to maybe find help.

Unfortunately, the flare still is not giving up. The pain is still with me as are the systemic symptoms and I am just holding on and praying as I continue the increased oral steroids.

I am exhausted and I feel like hell.

In this mess, my family has been wonderful. My husband has even taken time from work as needed to help me and our sweet Sara Bug has helped me with the things I suddenly can’t do alone right now – like get groceries (really frustrating).  I am grateful every day for my people. They are the very best. ❤

I have no idea when this will let up, if I am headed in a direction of improvement or if it is still worsening. Every day is just different. Today I am freezing cold, exhausted, and my ankle pain is pretty severe.

I’m praying that after another full day today of the higher dose pred, this weekend will look better.

Be well, everybody. Take care of yourselves and each other.

Grace and Blessings.

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