the best of and the worst of.

The smell of hospitals in winter,

And the feeling that it’s all a lot of oysters but no pearl. . .

– Counting Crows

I had a spectacularly shitty medical day today. Truly. Lots to tell.

I’ve also had some wonderful times with my nearests and there are some soul stirring things I want to share as well.

Isn’t that life sometimes? The best and the worst at the same damn time it seems.

So, let me get the ortho report out of the way first – because my readers who have been around awhile know ortho day seems to ALWAYS make me cry – and then we can talk about better things.

Today was a two doctor day – the hip doc and my foot doc.

I saw the hip doctor first, and, honestly, his visit wasn’t that scary. My hip pain is just THERE. The only thing new to report is that he is adding physical therapy that is literally RIGHT next to his office that will only focus on my spine – because broken feets – as I have a secondary autoimmune condition in my spine that is causing me a great deal of pain and I am also losing some function.

Of course, initially, PT will cause more pain – so, yay. 😦 Still, I am totally open to it if it will preserve function.

(this also means two or three days a week spent on site at the hospital. anxiety much?)

The foot doctor was the beast.

Last Thursday, while walking through our pharmacy, I felt something give in my left foot, but I didn’t know what. Still, with my bones, there is nothing to DO about the breaks anymore and I already had the appointment so I just waited. My left foot pain has been noticeably increased since then.

When I arrived, multiple X-rays of both feet were taken as usual – and Doc came in with lots of news.

Of course, my 2 breaks in each foot are still there, as they have been forever. However, what I felt last week was a complete displacement of the 4th metatarsal that was already broken. Now the top and bottom parts are sitting next to each other. Fantastic.

Additionally, the third metatarsal in my right foot has broken since my last visit and Doc says the third in my left will be going any day now.


I’m just crumbling – and it feels like all I can do is just sit and watch it happen.

Word. 😉

So, all of that unpleasant shit reported, there is so much else I want to tell you.

Over the weekend, I got to have two bestie outings in the same freaking day – gahhh!!!!  #ifreakinglovemyperson – and, for the second, she, Sara, and I went to see A Star Is Born.

Without any spoilers, it’s beautiful. It’s stunning. It’s gut-wrenching.

If you’ve lived with addiction or mental illness – or usually both, as they love to travel in pairs – it will lay you right out. But don’t miss it. The soundtrack will be on repeat for the next 5 months at my house. It’s really wonderful – but HARD. (Do be ready, sober friends)

I don’t have the words for how much I loved it.

I also got some Saints football in with my better half (WHO DAT!) and we watched the most incredible movie that is available on Amazon Prime:

 So so sooo good.

I expected A Star Is Born to be the film I was saying a million things about – and I could – but, Y’ALL.

Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot is based on the life of cartoonist John Callahan, who is played by Joaquin Phoenix. Callahan was quadriplegic from an alcohol related car accident and later entered AA and recovery. The film beautifully details his journey. It is funny and heart-wrenching and relatable, both as a person in recovery and a disabled person. All of the feels.

Callahan’s comics were criticized throughout his life as offensive to the disabled – often by those who didn’t realize they were drawn by a profoundly disabled person. He was truly unique and gifted – and his comics are so wonderful because they don’t treat disabled people as precious, which is a good thing for our souls sometimes. I love his work and the film makes you fall in love with him.

Even more though, Jonah Hill plays his AA sponsor, Donnie, so brilliantly – and I loved him so freaking much.

This movie really just touched my soul, I think because it spoke to so many of the places where I live. It’s stunning. I recommend everyone see it.

Also, on a funny note, Donnie ends EVERY advice session with, “Drink water.”

It made me laugh so much – and I realized that, for all the things I’m pretty dang confident about, that is, in fact, the only thing, as a health coach, a nurse, a sober person, and human, that never changes, in terms of advice, in this wicked world. So it is now my personal hashtag, no matter what I’m posting – whether it’s Henry or flowers or cooking or political whatever or shoes. We all need to #drinkwater. For Donnie. Bahahaha. =D

Another fun little outing Sara and I had was taking Henry to Target. We are surprised he didn’t fire us as his Service Humans after this debacle:


He is the cutest. And the best. But y’all know that. 😉

Unfortunately, again, with the balance of the good and the bad, the yellow stuff kicked my ass AGAIN this time:

It makes me gag to look at it anymore. I told my husband I’m going to have to get a new favorite color when all is said and done. #fixitjesus

However, it makes a profound difference in my joints, so gratitude for that.

Needless to say, I am WIPED after this day. Henry and I are piled up in bed with our music playing and I am reading Stephen King’s On Writing – even though I’ll leave reading his scary books to Sara. I haven’t read those since I was her age. On Writing is outstanding. We may change tracks in a bit and nerd out to some documentaries and then get some sleeps.

To end on a happy note, 13 months after I had no hair, this happened today and I finally look totally like me again:

If you don’t get the song reference, I am so sorry. You need all of the Amy Winehouse on Apple Radio STAT.

Since we seem to have an addiction theme going with my film suggestions today and I’m mentioning Amy, I’ll go ahead and suggest my Teetotaler friends who haven’t watched the documentary, Amy, on Netflix see it – but be ready.

It’s really good – but super hard.

Rest easy, Amy.

And, today’s musical selection, of course, has to be:


Be well, everybody.

Grace and Blessings.

#drinkwater  😉




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