picking up my crazy heart to give it one more try (or twelve)

And this ain’t no place for the weary kind
And this ain’t no place to lose your mind
And this ain’t no place to fall behind
Pick up your crazy heart and give it one more try.

– The Weary Kind, Ryan Bingham

Before I say all that I need to, let me report that we, as well as our amazing fam jam, are all in one piece after this beastly week:

Henry and I, having a Christmas PJ cuddle yesterday morning. ❤ #sograteful

On Thursday, my Henry unexpectedly had to have a second surgery to repair some issues with his wound. This was beyond upsetting for all of us – and, of course, really hard on him.

Thankfully, we are blessed with a very sensitive veterinarian who realized how difficult it is to separate an ESA dog and human and went above and beyond to take care of Henry – and our entire family – and to see to it that Henry safely had his surgery and was able to return home that same night. Such a blessing to all of us! I am just overcome with gratitude.

Since his return home, he is doing very well – and, for that, I am so so thankful as well. ❤

Getting his snuggles in tonight. ❤

As for me, I am feeling a bit, no, a LOT, of overwhelm in this CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) situation. It’s so hard. I get tired of dealing with these bodily malfunctions, each one seemingly worse and more scary than the last.

But, once I catch my breath for a minute, I am tough. And Lord knows I want to get my feet back under me – and, more importantly, be here with my lil’ fam jam and friends for a long time.

And I’ve gone the rounds and fought through autoimmune craziness to get what I need in the medical community before.

And I have settled on a course of action that I am confident in now.

I have also been doing a great deal of research on CRPS because that’s just what I know to do – while dealing with some gnarly side effects of the massive dose of various antibiotics my body has been subjected to (quite the story – to make it short, anytime you have something strange going on, you WILL be guinea pigged) – to no avail, of course. #fixitjesus

One article that I came across is the absolute WORST case scenario for CRPS. This is NOT the common outcome by any means – and I will be okay. I am linking it only for a few points that it mentions that are relevant to me right NOW:


As this article states, and as I’ve seen documented all over the place, if CRPS is treated  early, there is a great chance of remission. If it is allowed to progress, then there is only talk of a 20 – 40% improvement of the condition the person is in at the time they begin treatment.

So time is of the essence.

Also, as I was saying in my previous post when I had the horrible flare, even the strongest pain medicine will BARELY touch that pain, if at all.

Even now, if I get up – and anger this left foot, for lack of a better way to put it – it takes quite a bit to get it back under control. And sometimes I’m finding it isn’t even getting up that does it. This changes so often.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the TV room with my husband and I had the softest fleece blanket I own, my Vera Bradley fuzzy, wrapped around my foot, when suddenly, with NO movement, one part of my foot felt like that blanket was a Brillo pad. I’m so serious.

This is crazy, y’all.

And my foot was totally at its baseline when I laid down for a nap last Saturday night.

However, this blog post from another CRPS sufferer did get me thinking that I have had some “warning signs” with my nerves, if you will. Of course, there was no way to know that is what they were.


For the past year or so, I’ve had horrible shooting nerve pain down my fingers that will come on suddenly and last for several minutes – really intense. And that was bad enough, but I honestly attributed it to some kind of weird RA thing.

The stranger thing is this: For the past several months, I have had awful nerve pain in one spot on my abdomen where I took a methotrexate injection. It didn’t start immediately after the injection, so I didn’t hit a nerve. It started several weeks later – and it’s much deeper than where the tiny needle was. It’s where the medication would have contacted the nerves. It is severe enough to make me stop whatever I’m doing and catch my breath. Very strange.

So, yes. Here I am.

And what to do?

Tomorrow night, I email my PCP – who I just saw on Friday and he is expecting to hear from me – for immediate referrals to neurology – because we all know that can take months – and physical therapy – because I could realistically be there in a week. At least that would be a start, instead of sitting, and they have some great – and really important – resources.

Then, in a few weeks, I also see ortho, and, later, my Rheumy.

And goodness knows who else. I’m totally fine with that – as long as we are quickly getting me some help.

And, as always, onward.

Be well, everybody.

Grace and Blessings.





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